We decided to go out. It was a sudden plan, made in the morning. I asked her if she wanted to go out with me and she said yes, without a second thought.
I remember the first time I took her out. I wasn’t sure at that time. She came to the place for the first time from her hometown. I used to peek at her, while on the way to my room. I wanted to know her better, but I didn’t know how to start a conversation even.
She couldn’t comment on the weather or about books and movies and I didn’t know of the cartoons she watched. One day I decided to take her out. It was hard to choose. I wasn’t sure to choose her or her twin. Finally, her mother advised me to pick her.
She was very tiny then, and she had a bad cold, adjusting to the new weather. Her father dressed her and gave me a packet of tissue and a small tiffin box filled with chocolate cream biscuits on our first journey. It was a 4 minutes walk from the house to the nearest bus stop. We both felt heavy in the winter jackets against the February cold.
I caught her tiny fingers as we walked out of the house. We didn’t say anything to each other. Half way through the walk, she stopped and turned to me, throwing her little hands out at me, gesturing to pick her up. I bent down and picked her up. She wasn’t sure about her position and I tried to shift her around to make herself comfortable on me.
Reaching the bus stop, we silently waited for the bus. After a while, the bus came by and we hopped on to it. I took her to my university. On the journey, I pointed out a JCB in a construction area to her since she watches JCB videos on the TV. She acknowledged the JCB and remained silent through rest of the bus journey.
She was getting a little restless and I wasn’t sure how to entertain her. I knew she loved elephants. So, I played a cartoon of an elephant on my phone on YouTube. She watched it for a while and asked me to select the next cartoon available.
At the university, I met with my professor to choose my topic, all while she watched cartoons. After that, I took her to the university hub where we have our food court. She was hungry, but she didn’t let me know. I asked her if she wanted to eat anything and she pointed at the bag in which we kept the tiffin box.
I took it out and fed her the biscuits. She ate them silently and nodded when she was full. I clicked a picture of her on my phone while she took a bite, looking around the hub with awe. I checked the time. It was getting late and she needed to eat some proper food. I asked her if we can go back home and she jumped out of her seat.
We went downstairs from the hub to exit to the bus stop when we spotted someone with their dog inside the building near costa coffee. I asked her if she wanted to watch the dog and she said bow bow, nodding. I picked her up in my arms, for her safety, and walked towards dog. She smiled whole while, watching it, which made me happy.
After a while I told her that we had to move towards the bus stop as there is a chance that we might miss our bus. Reaching the stop, we remained silent. She tried to jump on a puddle, made by the continuous rains in England. I squeezed her back, preventing her from getting wet. She wasn’t very pleased with my action and gave me a rough look.
She turned around and asked for the bow bow we met earlier at the university hub. I tried to make her understand that the dog walked away with its owner. She was obstinate to see the dog again and I wasn’t sure what to do. I held her tight so that she wouldn’t run off to the busy road. Luckily, our bus arrived and I picked her up and got into it.
After a while, when the bus stopped at a bus stop on our way home, she demanded to get off the bus. I was surprised and told her that we can’t as the bus has not reached our stop. She started wailing. I stared at her in surprise. I started panicking not knowing what to do, as I never had any previous experience of take a two year old out on my own. People in the bus started looking at me as she started crying louder. I got scared. What if someone would think that I harmed her and called the social service?
A black lady sitting in the opposite aisle asked me why she was crying. I told her that she wanted to get down at a random stop. The lady nodded and smiled pathetically at the reason. I picked a tissue from the packet I had and started to wipe away tears from her little face. She took a few seconds break before letting out another cry. I whispered in between asking her to stop crying, while wiping the running tears.
After a while she became silent and slept on my hand. I didn’t dare to move the position in which she slept as we got out of the bus, scared that she would wake up again and start crying . I could feel my muscles getting strained under her position but I never let her go of her. Reaching home, I felt relieved as I tucked her into the sofa.
Evening, my hands were paining from the strain, but I dismissed it. Our first day out was weird, but it gave us a reason to bond.